


Birthday Cakes & Tax Benefits

by StartledStarfish



Series: Less Batman more Babies [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Babies, Baby Damian Wayne, Cassandra Cain is an angel, Domestic Fluff, Family, Gen, Good Older Sibling Dick Grayson, Humor, It's ambiguous, Kidfic, Kids Say the Darnedest Things, Mpreg, Pregnancy, Sassy Jason Todd, Sibling Love, Sibling Rivalry, and they are Bruce's biological kids, especially the bat brothers, if you wanna see it, jealous tim drake, no batman stuff, the batkids are young
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:34:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24826876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StartledStarfish/pseuds/StartledStarfish
Summary: Change can be hard sometimes. Other times, it just means more birthday cakes.Wherein, Bruce announces Damian’s impending arrival to the family.Dick is thrilled.Cass is curious.Jason is concerned about the logistics.And Tim is thoroughly unhappy.
Relationships: Cassandra Cain & Bruce Wayne, Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne
Series: Less Batman more Babies [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1795843
Comments: 12
Kudos: 137





	Birthday Cakes & Tax Benefits

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by my trip down the rabbit hole known as YouTube pregnancy announcement compilations! Can be read as mpreg or otherwise, it's ambiguous. this whole work is pretty vague in that regard, and there's no specific details about Damian's parentage or how that fits into the AU. It is also not implied whether the rest of Bruce's kids are biological or adopted. That's up to you and your reading of it ;) (For now...)
> 
> Disclaimer: this is a work of fanfiction, created for my own enjoyment, and I am in no way profiting off this work.
> 
> AU ages (approx):  
> Dick: 11  
> Jason: 7  
> Cass: 6  
> Tim: 3

This wasn’t their first rodeo. Not by a long shot. And yet, somehow, every time it became more difficult. Mainly, because it took Bruce longer to get everyone in the same room at the same time. To get them all focused so he could actually share the news was another story entirely.

As if bedtime wasn’t enough of a challenge on its own.

“I have a surprise for you all,” Bruce said loudly, and that got their attention fast. Really fast. Dick sat stock still, Jason snapped his head around, Cass stared with wide eyes, and Tim squirmed where he was tightly wedged in the middle of the couch between the older three.

“What is it?” said Jason, suspicious, narrowing his eyes warily.

“You know how I said I had to go get some pictures today?” Bruce asked. Three heads nodded, Tim was busy watching Jason and Dick on either side of him curiously. “Well, I brought them home, and there is one for each of you…” he passed out the four envelopes. “Go ahead and open them.”

Dick was the first to get his open. He took one look at the picture and let out an ear-splitting shriek. He dropped the envelope and image to the ground in his excitement. “REALLY?!” he cried. Followed immediately by, “I KNEW IT!!! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!” Bruce let himself answer Dick’s excitement with a small smile.

Jason now had his copy of the picture out and he was staring at it with a frown. “Another one?” he demanded skeptically. He looked up at Bruce incredulously. Dick continued to bounce up and down, rocking the whole couch with him.

“You know that it is, Jay?” said Bruce weakly.

“A baby,” said Jason, bluntly. “ _Another_ baby.”

“A baby!” Dick cheered, waving the sonogram in the air, and springing to his feet, throwing his arms up in celebration.

“Aren’t you excited, Jaybird?”

“Why?” Jason asked as if genuinely curious. Bruce had to fight to keep a straight face.

“When is it coming?” Dick interrupted.

“6 months, so at the beginning of December,” Bruce answered swiftly.

“YAY!!”

“Cass, do you know what that picture is?” Bruce turned his attention to his daughter who was quietly watching and listening to everything unfold. She nodded shyly, grinning ear to ear. “Are you excited to be a big sister again?” she nodded again, sliding down the couch with a happy wiggle.

“Excited…” she breathed, softly. The sentiment was nearly lost in the commotion of her brothers’ conflicting reactions.

Dick was nearly vaulting of the back of the couch with his enthusiasm and Jason had a thoughtful look of honest concern written over his features. “Is it gonna be a boy or a girl?” Dick wanted to know, while at roughly the same time, Jason wondered aloud, “Are you sure this is a good idea? New babies are a lot of work, you know.”

“I don’t know if it’ll be a boy or a girl. It’s going to be a surprise when they are born. And yes, Jason, very sure.” _Also, a little late to be asking questions like that at this particular juncture, son_ , Bruce finished silently in his head. He succeeded in refraining from rolling his eyes. “Besides, I know that I can count on you all to help out when the baby comes.”

“I suppose it’s nothing new in this house,” Jason grumbled in resignation.

Before Bruce could follow up with that, Dick was adding his own two cents. “I just _love_ babies!” he sighed almost wistfully. “I really hope it’s a girl,” he was sliding down the couch, upside-down with his feet in the air, nearly tumbling down on Tim in the process. “That way, I’ll have two little brothers and two little sisters! It’ll be perfect! Even-stevens!” he held up two fingers on each hand, giggling to himself.

Tim was flipping the sonogram image around and tilting his head to see it at different angles. Bruce knew his youngest was still a little behind on comprehending what was going on. “What’ve you got there, Tim?” he prompted gently.

Dick, ever the oldest and always in search of opportunities to impart his “brotherly wisdom” to his younger siblings, plopped right own next to Tim, pointing at the image. “See that right there, Timmy?” he said, putting on his best, patient, grown-up voice (the one that drove Jason crazy when directed at him). “That’s the baby. It’s a special kind of picture they take inside a tummy so you can see the baby before it’s born.”

“Bay-bee…” Tim said slowly, tongue wrapping around the word cautiously.

“That’s right! Baby. Just like you!”

“’cept not anymore,” Jason pointed out, ever the middle child and the family’s personal prophet of doom. He was perking up for the first time since the news was broken. “ How about that, Timmy? You’re not going to be the baby anymore!” he shook Tim’s shoulders gleefully.

Tim’s brows furrowed even lower than they were before. “Baby?”

“You’ll be a big brother!” Dick said eagerly. “Like me and Jay! Isn’t that cool?!”

“Yeah,” agreed Jason, suddenly thoroughly invested. “You won’t be the precious baby anymore!”

Tim bit his lip and looked down at the picture again. A silence filled with anticipation descended on the room. Bruce prepared himself. He knew exactly what was coming.

Tim mumbled something too soft to hear. “What was that, Timmy?” Dick asked. Tim didn’t answer. He screwed up his face throwing the picture down. He shoved his face into the couch cushions, refusing to look at any of them.

“I think he’s throwing a tantrum,” Jason observed. Dick tickled Tim’s foot, but Tim just kicked him away. 

“NO!” Tim screamed loudly. Everybody flinched. Especially since Tim wasn’t prone to loud outbursts.

“Hey there,” Bruce said getting up and moving closer.

“I think he’s mad,” said Jason in a stage whisper. Bruce shushed him.

“Hey there, chum,” said Bruce gently getting down on Tim’s level. Tim peeked his big blue eyes out from over the top of the pillow “It’s okay to be surprised. Having a new baby is a big change, and it can get some getting used to, but being a big brother is so much fun—”

“NO!” Tim repeated. His lip quivering. “Don’t wanna baby…”

“You don’t get a choice,” said Jason helpfully.

That put Tim over the edge. The tears came fast and hard. Bruce always marveled with how quickly all his children could suddenly flip. On second everything was dry, the next, everything was a snotty, wet mess. “Noooo-o-o! Not wan-na-na ba-by!” Tim bawled.

“Hey…” Bruce reached out to stroke Tim’s back comfortingly. The moment he made contact Tim latched on. He latched on _tight_. He circled his little arms around Bruce’s neck, clearly in great distress. “Oh, Tim…”

“Well, you’ll have to get used to it sooner or later,” Jason goaded. Tim cried harder.

“Jason!” scolded Bruce warningly.

“What?” demanded Jason, feigning innocence.

“I don’t recall you taking the news well when we were expecting Tim, either.” Bruce chided sternly, leveling Jason with a look. Jason crossed his arms, flopping backwards onto the cushions with a huff.

“Yeah, Jason you were maaaaaad,” Dick recollected astutely. Jason had been mad. He’d practically gone a on a rampage. Jason looked ready to riot now too as well.

“And Dick took a while to warm up to the idea of Jason joining the family also,” Bruce added quickly. Jason looked mildly surprised and Cassandra also perked up curiously. Tim even seemed to be listening.

“Really?” Jason asked.

Bruce nodded, remembering Dick interacting with Jason early on. Prior to Jason’s arrival, Dick had appeared neutral to the idea. Once Jason came into their lives, kicking, screaming, and doing what babies did best (just at a higher than average volume), the sentiment had changed to a firm ‘no thanks, please send it back’ attitude. Even now, Dick and Jason had a certain rivalry that was unique solely to them.

“But I love Jason now!” Dick protested looking somewhat embarrassed. He turned to Jason, “I love you now. Like I love Cass and Tim. It was different then….”

“Things change,” Bruce agreed, rocking a hiccupping Tim. “Families change, too. Like when Dick was born, and Jason, then Cassandra, and you Tim, and now it’s going to change again with this new baby. Our family gets better every time, and you know why?”

“It gets less boring?” Dick suggested. “Jason’s a lot less boring now he’s grown up.”

Bruce tilted his head in acquiesce. “Not…. exactly what I was looking for.”

“It gets louder?” Jason guessed.

“No…” said Bruce, making a mental note to have conversations like this more often.

“More birthday cakes?” Dick tried again.

“Tax benefits?” Jason offered.

“How do you even—never mind, not important.”

“ _Love_ ,” came Cass’s answer. “More love.”

 _Thank god_ , thought Bruce. “Bingo,” he winked at his daughter gratefully. “Thank you.”

“More family means more love,” Dick recited dutifully. “I knew that!”

“Sometimes,” muttered Jason wrinkling his nose and glaring at Dick. “Sometimes, it’s just annoying.”

“Go brush your teeth,” commanded Bruce. He was choosing his battles. Tonight, he was far too tired for anymore conflict resolution. This was not a hill he had the willpower to die on today.

“Wait, do I get to keep it?” Dick asked hurriedly, holding up his sonogram copy.

Bruce nodded, “it’s yours.”

“I don’t want mine,” said Jason, shrugging.

“Oo! Can I have Jason’s too?”

“No, it’s mine!” Jason hurriedly snatched his back.

“Teeth. Now.”

“Race you!” Dick called out, pushing past Jason and getting a head start.

“Stop! Wait! No fair!” Jason tore after him. Dick cackled from the hall. “You always do this!” came Jason’s distant whine.

Bruce sighed, hauling himself up to his feet, Tim still locked firmly on him. The boy wasn’t letting go soon. Cass had stayed behind long enough to tidy the remains of the envelopes. She picked up Tim’s copy of the sonogram and offered it up to him in Bruce’s arms.

“Thank you, Darling. I don’t think Tim wants his quite yet. Could you keep it safe for him?” Cass nodded solemnly.

Bruce was not expecting his daughter’s arms around his waist. He looked down in surprise. “Hm,” he said, reaching down a hand to stroke her soft black hair. “Everything alright?”

She pulled away, showing him a sweet smile. “Happy,” she said simply.

Bruce grinned back. “Me too,” he said. “Go ahead and upstairs, I bet you can still get there before your brothers. They usually get stuck around the landing when Dick gets Jason in a headlock.”

Cass scampered ahead, and Bruce allowed himself a second to revel in the moment. How did he ever get so damn lucky? He listened to the sounds of the boys wrestling over the toothpaste, and sighed. “Welcome to the family,” he murmured to himself, thinking of their newest addition to the chaos.

“I’m sure you’ll fit right in.”

**Author's Note:**

> Um, so when is Damian's actual B-day? I really don't know. So I just made something up, haha! Anyway, thanks for reading! I might make this into a little series if I feel inspired. No promises, especially since I barely post anything hardly ever! aha oops. For now it's a one-shot. I toyed with making it A/B/O-esque. If I write more maybe it will go in that direction. For now, as I said before, it's up to you!
> 
> Thank you for reading! Comments and Kudos appreciated always :)


End file.
